"my name is Tyren. you die."

Oh, the joys of children. I snatched this away from a student a couple of weeks ago. Tyren is a big 11/12 year old who doesn't quite fit into the kindergarten-sized chairs and tables of my classroom. These older kids tend to deal with this ergonomic insult either by completely spacing out or occupying themselves with vocations like the one shown above.

This eloquent and concise statement wasn't directed at me, or anybody else in particular. It's just one of the many broken English phrases that get thrown around everyday in our classrooms. It's the kind of stuff that would send an American public school into lock-down or bomb-scare mode. It would also get students expelled. But here the attitude is, "meh." It's a bit of a different situation (though not very severe) if the transgression is written or spoken in Korean. But Teacher doesn't know Korean, so another common refrain I here from students (pointing at the alleged transgressor): "Ohhh, Teacher. Bad Korean speaking!"

A few more common phrases that should be included in the English-Korean-English Phrasebook for Hogwans:


"Teacher, pinnishwea!!"
translation: "Teacher, I have finished my assignment and cannot contain the urge to inform you of this repeatedly until you acknowledge my accomplishment."

"Teacher, (generic English name assigned to student) crazy."
translation: "Teacher, my classmate is acting erratically and I would like to consipre with him/her in the act by drawing your attention to it."

"Oh my God, oh my God!:
translation (several definitions): 1) "Teacher, I cannot contain my excitement for saying in English that which I cannot effectively say in English." 2) "Teacher, that is unsatisfactory." 3) "Teacher, I cannot contain my feelings of suspense as you reveal the numeral behind the flashcard during this game of BAAM!" 4) "Teacher, I am bored."

Pinoppio
definition: A beloved children's tale character who transcends the wooden fiber of his body to become a real boy.

"Teacher, wha?" (Often annotated to, "ahUH?"
translation: "Teacher, I have no clue what you just said"; or "Teacher, the score you just recorded for the previous round of BAAM! is inaccurate."

"Teacher, No!"; or "No"
translation: The most versatile Korean-English phrase. Can be used to express just about any sentiment from "Teacher, I will not do that," to "Teacher, I have no idea what you just said," to "Teacher, I have no idea how to answer that question," to "Teacher, it is unclear to me whether you just asked me a question or whether you want me to repeat what you just said."

"Teacher my! Teacher my!"
translation: "Teacher, please select me to answer that question/choose the next letter in hangman/select a flashcard for BAAM!" One of the most common Korean English phrases; will be heard dozens of time during each class period. More disciplined Korean students will have the forethought to raise a hand in the air before competing vocally with their classmates.